Welcome to my other blog. I started this one shortly after graduating from the C.I.A, to differentiate between my food and my other thoughts. It's a cozy little place with frequent weird but real, honest thoughts.

There's really not much more to say here, as anything mildly interesting is either down below or written in my Armadillo section above.
Hope you can relate to some of my thoughts and situations, even if they tend to be strange sometimes

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Honeymoon Stage part two, or An Ordinary Life

"Hey, married girl, do you feel any different?" A regular cheerfully asks me. I barerly need to consider the question
"No, not really!" I laugh. "Matt and I were together six years and lived together for two before we got married."
"I felt a lot different after I got married. More responsibility" He says, taking a pull of his diet coke.
"I dont, it's funny. I mean, we're happy we got married, but I feel like nothing has changed." I glance at my wedding band, a habit I notice myself doing several dozen times a day, and consider......

~~~~

Matt and I have been married a month. Not much has changed. I try to feel different. A new life? A "new" future? A new last name?
Honestly, while you are the complete center of attention for one fabulous day is great and special, weddings are truly only special and one-of-a-kind to those in it. Weddings happen every single day. I glance automatically at ring fingers, looking for a wedding band, comparing the excessive diamonds on the women's fingers to the simple pretty silver bands on the men's. I easily suppress an urge to exclaim "You're married!? I'm married too!!" Though I think it every time.  I cringe at the amount of diamonds on their finger.

A lot of women in this area are married I've come to notice. And now I am one of them. It's perfectly ordinary. If you've been reading this blog long, or at all, you know ordinary and average is something I attain to. Not the weird one, or the strange one. Though my family insists that I'm not. To which I reply "Have we met?" Not socially awkward. Just like everyone else. A married woman. Picking up the house (or trying to). Cooking meals, going to work, or to the gym.
Just like a normal life. I think to myself "I could actually swing this." A married life. Do people actually feel different after they get married? Maybe I will when my name change goes through (a task I look forward to and dread getting moving). But if I don't, I don't. I don't know if this is my mind instinctively downplaying things with low expectations of if I'm being realistic. This isn't a freakin' tea party or playing house. It's a real marriage. Life isn't this party of good feelings and delusions of specialness.
Anyway. I think I can get used to this normal life. Maybe someday I'll aim for that traveling the world, bungee jumping, sky diving life. But right now, things are nearly perfect.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Honeymoon stage?

We've been home from the Honeymoon a few days, and we're already mostly settled back in. How else am I supposed to feel? I feel like Matt and I have a different relationship than is protrayed by the average person or TV show. We're not needing to spend every second of our time with each other. We're not all over each other. It's the same as before. Only now wedding bills are paid and I need to change my name.
When you've been with someone six years and living with them for two, things feel a lot different. There's no honeymoon switch that went off in our head that made us turn into two love sick teenagers. We were just happy and relaxed. Enjoying spending time together and being in this bubble for two weeks of no work thoughts, no home thoughts. Just "Why yes, the lamb shank DOES sound good for dinner" and "Yeah! I'll wait in line 45 minutes to go on Mission Space!" It was bliss.

But now that's over and we're home, already feeling our way into roles as husband and wife. It's exactly the same as before. Only now we're married. Preparing meals, reading books, checking e-mails. I'll be back at work tomorrow and then things will really be as they were. It's nice that things haven't really changed yet. I know it's early, and they say marriage changes a lot of things, but what? Other than last names, a new bank account and swapping insurances, what else? I mean, we've handled bills, cooking, cleaning and everything else as a couple. When we -eventually- have kids, that'll change EVERYTHING, but for now, things seem to be the same. Btu we'll see how I feel in a few months!

But I'm more or less okay with that. We did the whole love-sick teenager thing. I don't feel like I'm losing out on anything. We're just us. MattandJenn. We come as a set.

Don't get me wrong, my wedding day was the most perfect day of my life and the honeymoon as truly an amazing two weeks of food, tours, parks and sunshine. But what now? I spent a year planning this wedding, now what am I gonna talk about? Who am I? Bride to wife in just a few minutes. My co-workers will be glad that the countdown is over, but what next for careers?

Anyway. I don't know where this is going. I guess I don't feel like the stereotypical newlywed. But since when have I ever done anything stereotypical?