Welcome to my other blog. I started this one shortly after graduating from the C.I.A, to differentiate between my food and my other thoughts. It's a cozy little place with frequent weird but real, honest thoughts.

There's really not much more to say here, as anything mildly interesting is either down below or written in my Armadillo section above.
Hope you can relate to some of my thoughts and situations, even if they tend to be strange sometimes

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Constantly Thankful

It's the kickoff for the time of year to give thanks, be grateful for what you have and to spread joy and love to everyone.

Except I don't really feel the pull.

As cheesy and corny and fake as it sounds, I feel happy and grateful all year. It's a state of amazement that you are where you are in life.

Just think, for a moment, all the choices, situations and moments in your life. The hundreds of thousands of moments that led to this one. It goes farther back than your own existance. The millions of moments in the lives of your past generations led you exactly to where you are.

In his book "Drop Dead Healthy" A.J. Jacobs writes about his grandfather hearing a speech:

"Well, it was about the sheer improbability that we even exist. The strange fact that out of  millions of people in the world, your mother and father met and decided to get married to each other. And out of the millions of sperm, that one with your genes was the one that made it to the egg."

I think about all the millions of choices that led up to meeting my husband. If I hadn't chosen to go to the C.I.A later in the year, if I didn't pick that bad extern site. If I didn't briefly date and have a bad breakup. If I didn't choose to go to a dorm event. Can you imagine? Any of these small choices even slightly altered could change the course of my life.

I feel so deeply lucky and grateful I met Matt. I'm so thankful for him and his companionship and love. I feel lucky that we ended up together because the circumstances on our meeting were nearly an impossibility.  It boggles the mind that all the decisions in our life, that this force makes us who we are and where we end. I can't allow myself to dwell around these thoughts very long because I can't wrap my mind around the sheer luck and force and situations that makes us who we are.

This Thanksgiving morning, Matt and I are watching "Mankind: The History of all of us" and it's mind boggling. The history of all of us, the wars, the inventions, developments shaping the world as we now know it. I'm thankful to be apart of a loving family. I'm thankful to be working and to be happy and healthy.

I don't want to end this preaching about being grateful for what you have and not wishing for what you want. Or to take time for the little things. I don't think that is something you can force. You have to allow it to happen, to enter inside of you and fill you up with love and thankfulness. If we could all do that, we wouldn't need holidays to make excuses to see each other or cook nice meals. We would just naturally do it. We would all love and enjoy our families. We would all volunteer more to help those who aren't as lucky as us. The world would just naturally be a better place.
So maybe that is a little preachy. But hopefully over time, we can all feel lucky, need less stuff and give more love and care.


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