Welcome to my other blog. I started this one shortly after graduating from the C.I.A, to differentiate between my food and my other thoughts. It's a cozy little place with frequent weird but real, honest thoughts.

There's really not much more to say here, as anything mildly interesting is either down below or written in my Armadillo section above.
Hope you can relate to some of my thoughts and situations, even if they tend to be strange sometimes

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Honeymoon Stage part two, or An Ordinary Life

"Hey, married girl, do you feel any different?" A regular cheerfully asks me. I barerly need to consider the question
"No, not really!" I laugh. "Matt and I were together six years and lived together for two before we got married."
"I felt a lot different after I got married. More responsibility" He says, taking a pull of his diet coke.
"I dont, it's funny. I mean, we're happy we got married, but I feel like nothing has changed." I glance at my wedding band, a habit I notice myself doing several dozen times a day, and consider......


Matt and I have been married a month. Not much has changed. I try to feel different. A new life? A "new" future? A new last name?
Honestly, while you are the complete center of attention for one fabulous day is great and special, weddings are truly only special and one-of-a-kind to those in it. Weddings happen every single day. I glance automatically at ring fingers, looking for a wedding band, comparing the excessive diamonds on the women's fingers to the simple pretty silver bands on the men's. I easily suppress an urge to exclaim "You're married!? I'm married too!!" Though I think it every time.  I cringe at the amount of diamonds on their finger.

A lot of women in this area are married I've come to notice. And now I am one of them. It's perfectly ordinary. If you've been reading this blog long, or at all, you know ordinary and average is something I attain to. Not the weird one, or the strange one. Though my family insists that I'm not. To which I reply "Have we met?" Not socially awkward. Just like everyone else. A married woman. Picking up the house (or trying to). Cooking meals, going to work, or to the gym.
Just like a normal life. I think to myself "I could actually swing this." A married life. Do people actually feel different after they get married? Maybe I will when my name change goes through (a task I look forward to and dread getting moving). But if I don't, I don't. I don't know if this is my mind instinctively downplaying things with low expectations of if I'm being realistic. This isn't a freakin' tea party or playing house. It's a real marriage. Life isn't this party of good feelings and delusions of specialness.
Anyway. I think I can get used to this normal life. Maybe someday I'll aim for that traveling the world, bungee jumping, sky diving life. But right now, things are nearly perfect.


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