Now I'm at 26. More than halfway through my 20's and four away from 30. Did I actually make it this far? 26. Still here. Still figuring it all out.
Anything I have to say has been said already. 26 sounds weird. What was I doing ten years ago? At 16 I still seriously considered purple hair. Did I think I'd be where I am now? Engaged? I don't even remember.
Probably one of those "Wouldn't it be nice" thoughts, but probably doubted it would happen for me by now. I feel like I'm letting the young me down. 26, and what do I have? College degrees, a job, a fiance. All nice things, but average. Always average. Never ahead, usually behind. Ah well. That's life. You work hard, do your best, toil away at your existence and you sometimes squeak by. If you're lucky, you'll get a step ahead, but don't get too confident, because before you know it you'll be back where you started.
But what if you just want to start all over? Just begin again and try to get it right? You can always start again. Turn your entire life upside down for that one scrap of hope. That's pretty crazy.
I want to say "Oh well, At least I'm getting married" but that comment alone is going to send the women's equality movement about sixty years.But it's something. It's crazy. Me getting married. Never thought I'd actually find someone so early in life like this.
I can't believe I'm 26. I feel old. 20 feels young. Full of potential and possibility. 21 holds promise and a glass of wine. By 25, you're usually out of college, in a job and up to your eyeballs in student loans. You wonder where the hell your 20's went.
But what about 26? I guess by 26, you've barely made a dent in loans, spending the majority of your life at a job and planning a wedding. At least I am. And thinking about the future. Always thinking about The Future. Those mindless daydreams of what to come.
I guess we're always figuring it out. Making up life as we go along. There's no real timeline we can compare ourselves because we're all on different wavelengths. I can't compare myself to the Med Student, because they're still in college. Can't compare myself to the office dweller because that'd never be my life. I'm just here. 26. 26 at 3:30 in the morning thinking about my future before work. Feels like the age doesn't suit me. Like an ill fitting sweater.
I guess I feel age would have made me more interesting. As if I'd be more ahead or have more going on. Anyway. I'm 26 and have 221 days til my wedding, and
Guess I still have a bit more time to spiffy up my life and create something better. Creating something out of nothing will prove to be an interesting challenge.