As a kid, I never wanted the whole 9 to 5 thing. I wanted early hours, up before the sun, out before lunch kind of life. Where the whole day stretches out before you as you exit your job. So, that's what I did. I bake.
I'm up before 3:30, at work at 4:30. Up earlier during the holidays. The downside is, you're tired. All the time. And people don't understand that. They pressure you to "find a way to deal with it" or "Well, you're just going to have to be tired, then." No! That's not it. I go to bed at 7:30. I'm tired. I was born with sleeping problems. I need to manage it by staying on a routine.
Having those problems, mixed in with my hours is a cocktail of exhaustion. Why do I still do it? Why do I sacrifice a life, so that people can have good desserts to eat? Do I love it? I'm a morning person. I hate sleeping past 7 even on my days off. I'd prefer being at the gym at 6:30 on a day off than watching the news in my pjs.
So you can either you be a little selfish and manage your health to get enough sleep, or you screw your health and stay up till 11. And for the record? The second choice leaves you cranky and insufferable. I'd rather be tired, but lucid and cheerful and bearable to those around me.
My life feels unconventional. As I was leaving the gym, I saw women dressing for work, putting on make-up, looking business-like and perfect with their hair and dresses. Here I am leaving the gym to go home. To run errands, clean and enjoy a day off.
What is this life? It's strange and bizarre. But I enjoy it.
No one understands the food industry unless they have experienced it directly or grew up with parents doing it. What is this life? Working on the holidays. A whole weeks worth of hours crammed into a two and a half day period. We don't eat. Unless a kind co-worker decides to bring lunch or you remember to stuff a granola bar in your bag. Sometimes we eat, but usually, we don't. It's just the food industry.
Anyway. Since I've been engaged, I've been thinking a lot about the workforce and careers. Even scarier? I'm turning into "one of those girls". The kind of girl who gets engaged and starts to think about "the future". A house, kids, dogs. Good Lord, shoot me now. I am so not this girl. But I think about it sometimes. Such as, if Matt gets promoted or gets a raise, and starts making really good money. After we get married and I get on his insurance. After my car is paid off. After student loans become more manageable. When we could afford to live with one full time job and one part time job.
What would I do? Would I want to do that? Would we ever get to that point in life?