I feel horribly irritable today. I don't want to do anything. I want everyone to leave me alone. I feel a little OD on Christmas already. We play holiday music all. The. Time at work, which I don't mind too much, because I don't feel like listening to other music around this time, but by the time I'm home, I'm just sick of it.
I feel like Asian food tonight. Potstickers and crunchy sweet chunks of chicken, rice, sake. Maybe I just want to eat. Maybe I'm just cranky. I've been having such odd dreams and I wake up tired and feel tired all day, especially when I get more than 7 hours sleep. Which kinda sucks. When I have Sundays off I just want to wake up at 7 and lay in bed till 8 or so. But it makes me tired and unmotivated to do anything. Only yesterday I did actually want to go into the city. So this cranky unmotivated feeling has been pushed back to today. This is the second Monday in a row where I've felt like this. What the hell is wrong with me, anyway.
I'd say it's the weather, but it's only just now gotten cold.
I think I need warm beaches on some far away island. Just for a little while. To escape everything. Just for a little while. Normal people do that, right? People go away sometime in January for a few days and they do something fun with their lives. Not me. I'd go on vacation alone, since Matt's vacations and mine wont sync up properly till next summer, but what's the fun in that? I'd want to have someone with me to share the good food and warm sunshine.
It sucks. Deary little New England. I'm not even in the fun part of New England. Stuck up Fairfield County all around me. Old money, new money, trust fund babies. Most of the people I am around, at least. Not my family, or any of my family's friends, of course, because we were all here before Rowayton became that way. But other people, nameless and faceless people who shall remain that way here (even though they might be otherwise) are around with more frequency than I'd like to admit. They are in the Wal-Mart, trying to act like they are too good to be there, they are in the restaurants, ordering in a fussy way, they are the customers yelling at me on the phone from the Thanksgiving line outside. I'd love to visit a nice New England that they feature in Yankee Magazine.
Don't get me wrong, I like to live in little towns. I can't imagine living in a city setting. But I think these people with their Trust Funds and Old/New Money are ridiculous.
I'd pay really good money to anyone who'd be willing to tell them off for me. Good money. Anyone? Anyone? I think I owe someone some money for doing that already. You get an extra hundred dollars for making them cry. Just saying....
Scratch that. I'm a strong believer in Karma and sooner or later it'll come back to them. Full fold. Or at least I hope so. I think sooner or later we all get what we deserve.