Today, just now, I decided that I don't really need to be included.
That's right. I've been rejected by so many people for so long, I immediately reject others before they can reject me (how's that for saving $200 in Shrink fees?) But I just don't really have a need to be included. Well, not exactly, anyway.
I want to be included by my blogging peers. I want to be included at work (which I already am, even if I still am paranoid about their reasons). I want to be included by my boyfriend (which I am, without question or judgment). And that just about suits me.
I don't need much else.
I don't need everyone else's inclusion, and acceptance. I'm pretty good at pushing people away. People like me, we're good at that. People don't usually like us, so we just reject them, get it over with, save them the trouble of doing it for us.
So here we are, this weird little group of outcasts, including each other in our attempt to reject anyone remotely normal who we see as a threat.
I like my little group of misfits. We're weird. We talk funny. We think funny. We're just a strange group of folks. We get eachother. We relate and understand eachother on a level most people probably don't get. It goes deeper than "Oh. My God. I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY!" or "Like, you have blonde hair!??! ME TOO!". It's more like "I was having really weird nerve pain today." or "I'm just waiting on the results of that MRI." or "My kid is really struggling with his learning disabilities.".
It's funny how people who think they are normal have it better than those who aren't normal. You don't have it better. Just easier. But with our struggles, we have it easier when it comes to being empathetic, good listeners, or just kinder in general.
So I don't have a big desire to be included with all the ''normal'' people out there. I am just as happy being with my nice group of misfit toys.