Why am I so shy!? I want to submit something to Relish magazine, but why would anyone want to publish someone fresh out of college?
We'll see....I might try it. I just hate that I lack confidence in things like work. I'm painfully socially shy and feel like I would do something wrong and cause many problems and much anger from my employer....Damn externship.... I want to work, and I want a job, but I don't think I can do it. There are probably more qualified people and I just don't want to screw anything up for anyone.
But I don't want to be here forever. I want to be independent, on my own in an apartment somewhere, making money, getting my writing together.
I worry too much. I wish I didn't. I worry about everything. Jobs, money, the environment, everything. I just want to be able to look for a job without wondering why anyone would want me or if I can handle it.
I'm shy, I worry, I am outgoing, but only under odd situations: when I'm around certain people and when it -really- matters, like job interviews, on the phone, speaking to adults, and (back when I was a server at Apple Pie Bakery for a class) with customers....So maybe it would work for me. I don't know. I like working with people, I like customers, and kids...but really...what kind of job can i handle? I can't ice a cake well, and have difficulty with making things pretty....and I can't explain that to anyone. I've given up. My mom brags about her pastry chef daughter, and it makes me mad sometimes....because I dont feel like a pastry chef....just someone who has a degree in baking and pastry who really enjoys baking and making things....but that last step of presentation is so hard for me....
I'm such a mess.....I'm sorry I have such issues with these kinds of things. I really am a capable person, reliable, professional, sense of urgency and getting things done. I'm motivated, friendly, more or less smart...so why shouldn't I be confident....I don't know....This would just be my very first real real job and it makes me a little nervous.
I think I will give Relish a shot and send in a query, who knows what will happen but I really should try. Taped to my monitor is a fortune from a cookie that says "Nothing is impossible to you" I take that as a good omen, and hopefully, it will turn out to be true.